Run Away Reports

*poke poke*
Does this thing work?

I thought my blog was going to disappear into oblivion, but what a surprise... it's here.

vox is dying.......

Well I exported everything I've written here to a private WordPress blog for my records... I guess I am being forced to begin a new blog... where to go...

if anyone adds you named Riyal or Riyality, that's me! I made a bunch of new accounts, but who knows if I will actually use them.

Wordpress: riyality.wordpress.com

Livejournal: riyal.livejournal.com

Tumblr: riyality.tumblr.com

I dunno which one I will actually use, I'll deal with it later. I just wanna make sure to make friends with you all!!

Right now I am in Belgrade and Shu needs to check her email. Bye Vox!!

leaving Damascus soon

Shu and I went to a "Cirque" (circus) over the weekend. It was awesome! Really classic... acrobats, magic show, strong men, elephants, tigers, camels, ponies... scary stuff like a huge metal sphere with motorcycles driving inside of it... it was cool! We were in the front row! We also hung out in the Old City for a while, bought some souvenirs and stuff... since we are finally leaving!!

It is the final week of class. Thank god, I am honestly getting sick of Damascus, and Arabic class for 4 hours everyday. Shu and I will take our final Arabic exams on Thursday... and head to Beirut, Lebanon on the weekend for clubbing and celebrating the end of the term. But Beirut is pretty expensive, so I will want to leave the next day.

From there we will head to northern Syria (should be an interesting experience, dealing with these overland borders... It's usually a nightmare for me) to the city on the sea, Latakia and do some sightseeing there before finally departing the Arab world for good and heading up to Turkey.

In Turkey we plan to visit Kapadokya, Turkey which is famous for its natural beauty and odd-shaped houses made from stone. Shu and I wanna take a hot air balloon ride... we read about the hot air balloon services in that town in a magazine we found on a JAL flight. I've always wanted to take a hot air balloon ride!

From there we will travel through Ankara to Istanbul, not staying long, and cross the border into Bulgaria (my mother always told me it was lovely there) and then head to Serbia where one of Shu's friends lives and expects us. Then we have to go all the way back to Istanbul to take our flight back to Seattle!

Hopefully it will work out. I probably won't have time or and internet connection to post much, but wanted to detail my plans!!!

no new title yet but

So the day after the big argument about the title of our manga, Shu had a 180 degree attitude change and started drawing without me asking (for once!).

I haven't thought of a new title yet, but here are some of the main characters for your viewing pleasure, as promised!

picture of drawing.

Told you Shu was good! I like her aesthetic... I've asked her to change a few of her stylistic habits for this project, but this is a good example of her work. Shu didn't want me to post this but I wanted to show off! I won't give away all the details of our story but I'll give you brief character descriptions and setting.

The story takes place on another planet, in , the capital of The Republic of . The Earth we know has been destroyed due to overconsumption and capitalism. Humans have moved to another planet, but continue in Earth's path, thinking they are benefitting from thousands of years of civilisation.

From left to right.

Mushka (also known as Blue) is the main character, she's a high school student, age 15, and suffers from odd fantasies and dreams of Earth's destruction after taking her drug of choice.

Uzo, Mushka's civics teacher and lover, 35 years old. Works for the government, unbeknownst to Blue, and keeps very close tabs on her and her thoughts. Enjoys jazz and scotch.

Cassiopeia, 40 years old, undercover intelligence agent, and Madame. She orders Max around and has a bad temper. Has a coat and jacket addiction.

Max, 19 years old, homosexual drug addict and dealer. Close friend of Blue, works for and is abused by Cassiopeia. Very needy and arrogant.

And top right, Ashra, 16 years old, codename Ten1-, a mysterious character with her own goals and confidante to Blue.

We still have so much work to do!!! And the story keeps getting longer and more detailed!

random stuff... nothing new

Shu and I went out to the movies last weekend (I've been to the movie theatre twice this month... that's really unusual because I go to the movie theatre maybe twice a year or less in the USA). But I am undying Leonardo DiCaprio fan... seen all his movies, etc. Inception was good! I could totally relate to Leonardo's wife in the movie... would much rather live in a dream. I'm an escapist... and my escape techniques of choice these days are sleep and writing. I never thought of writing as an escape mechanism, but is, especially since I've been working on a longer story.

Shu and I have been working on "The Free World." Well, that's the name I have been using for the manga for a while, but I actually stole it from Shu's series. We had a big fight last night about the title, and Shu doesn't want me to use it anymore. I am a little bit lost right now... Shu drew all my characters together (really awesome, I'll post it next time), and I wanted to write the title on top, but Shu wouldn't let me. The argument exploded into a fight about the project, and how important it is to me, and how Shu is still wavering. I just wanna know if he's in or out. Shu is an amazing artist, and I am flattered that he would bring my characters to life, but I feel he is only putting in 75%. It might be because it's not his story (Shu doesn't just draw, he writes his own stories, and is not used to following another person's story).

Shu hates being told what to do (so do I), but I seem to love to tell people what to do. Shu hates being rushed, and I hate waiting. It's really hard. Shu spends a long time studying Arabic each night, and I don't spend more than an hour studying at night. Shu says I don't understand because I am "good at studying" and that she needs more time to study. I just want to work on ... (No New Title Yet!).

So about two weeks until class is finished. Then a couple more weeks after that and we'll be back in America. I miss my apartment! And my winter clothes!

We had a debate in my Arabic class about immigration and language. I think people should be able to speak whatever language they want, where ever they want...and I think it's quite simple. If a person, for example a Turk in Germany, wants to speak Turkish, and hang out with other Turkish immigrants, so be it. I think a lot can be gained by learning multiple languages, but it is each person's prerogative. They can live in a small world if they choose. I was a little shocked to find that I am in the small minority of people who believe this (by this I mean that no one in the class agreed with me, even the teacher put me down). This happens to me all the time... people will just tell me straight up that I believe in some kind of ridiculous "Magical Freedom" that is simply unreasonable. Well I think a lot of people believe in a lot of unreasonable things...

I don't know what kind of negative effect comes from someone speaking a minority language. It really has no effect on me. There is a Kurdish minority here that speaks Kurdish... doesn't change the Syrian Arabness of Syria. Or even if it does, who cares? Pieces of land carved out on the world... need to have a character? Anyway, I don't think my classmates understood half of the things I said because their speaking ability is much weaker than mine. Suck it.

I have a new strategy for dealing with my back/leg pain (which persists). Since I am now convinced that this pain is much more psychological than physical, when I start to feel pain, I just tell myself not to feel it. I try not to let myself get down, or let it consume my body. I just tell it go away. It has been surprisingly effective.

I am scared of stressing Shu out too much. I know she loves me and cares about me, otherwise she wouldn't have stuck around this long, and come all the way to Syria with me... and so many other things. But she is used to peace, and calmness in life, and I have emotional breakdowns almost every day, and it's taking a toll on her. To me, it seems normal. I have lived a stressful, difficult life, and I am used to it. It's normal to me. But for Shu, it's troublesome. I don't want to scare her off.

every spare moment

Every spare moment I have that is not spent studying or speaking to Shu or at school, my mind turns immediately to my little brother. He is the first thing my mind turns to when I am released from distraction. Perhaps I need a few days or weeks alone in order to think through everything. Or maybe it's useless, my mind enters into fantasies at night, in the day, my brain still thinks or wants to think he is alive or something.

I just woke up. It's Tuesday afternoon, which means two more school days until the weekend. My Arabic presentation was postponed until this week, which is fine but I wanted to get it over with. My class isn't as enjoyable as last month and I am not putting as much effort into it. The people in my class are less interesting... there is one other American girl from some elite private graduate school (I forgot the name, but most of the Americans here come from similar schools, Johns Hopkins etc., are working on their masters, and have strong American accents in their Arabic which for the life of them they cannot kick). There is a British guy, 30 something, who really annoys me. During introductions, when asked why he is studying Arabic, he said that he wants to marry a Syrian woman. He thinks he is cool because he is Anglo and yet speaks Arabic (sorta) and therefore popular with Arab women. He thinks he's Lawrence of Arabia or something. I don't sit next to him anymore for this reason and others. Or perhaps I feel really sexually tense and oppressed around large masculine white men (it's all in my head, guys).

Tomorrow is perhaps the beginning of Ramadan. Not fasting. One of my main reasons Muslims fast Ramadan is to feel how the unfortunate and poor feel, without a bite to eat. It seems kind of silly to me now since a lot of the people here ARE poor and unfortunate.

I don't have much to look forward to. Well that's what it feels like. This coming year will be long and difficult. Things that make me happy are writing "The Free World" and reading Arabic texts. Dreaming of my family when it consisted of five people. I became really sad yesterday and tears were spilling out of my eyes like a malfunction. Sorry Shu.

Just so tired of pain. The only way I can deal with it is to somehow grow comfortable with it, almost fall in love with it, become obsessed and familiar with it. People say I need to grow stronger, and that will help me with the pain. But to me, stronger in that context means "grow numb." I don't see the point or morality in that. Grow numb from pain in order to function better in this machine of a society? To be more effective? No. I don't think that is an option for me. Despite the weak fragile state I enter when I allow the pain to consume me, I sanction it. I cannot think of a better, appropriate way to deal with it.

I miss Tokyo. I hope to visit for a while this winter vacation. Oh let me just post this before I start talking about money.

level 4 complete

I just took the final exam for the course I've been taking over the past month. The test wasn't that difficult, but I am sure I missed several points all throughout the test because I didn't really study as hard as I should have. But I dunno, hopefully I will pass and be able to take level five next week... I already registered for the class, but if I don't pass level 4 I won't be able to get into level five.

We are going out to lunch with our teacher and I think she will tell us the results then. Most of the students in my class are going back to their home countries, so the result doesn't matter as much to them... they will not continue studying here, but for me... I have another whole month in Syria and I want to study more! Level five is supposed to be really complicated and valuable and difficult to pass... I wanna take it!

Anyway, school's out, cool feeling. Shu and I have tomorrow to rest and pack, and then our flight to Cyprus is at 6:40 in the morning on Saturday. Oh I convinced Shu to let me have a second birthday while we are in Cyprus! I justified it because I was in Kyoto with my ex on my 21st birthday and I kinda wish I could have been able to spend it with Shu... When I came back to Japan, Shu got me a present but we didn't really celebrate my birthday. So, I am gonna celebrate my 21st birthday again in Cyprus... I know, I know it's silly and narcissistic, but we are gonna party in Cyprus anyway, I might as well tell the restaurant or bar it's my birthday and get a cupcake or something. Haha... plus, I also need to make up for all the years when I was little and deprived and didn't have anyone to celebrate my birthday with.

So yea, see you guys in Cyprus!

woo Cyprus soon!!

Well I still have another week of Arabic classes but I am getting really excited about going to Cyprus.

Shu and I booked a "villa" which is actually a nice-ish apartment with a pool and stuff... close to Nissi beach, which is supposed to be very clean and clear with sandy beaches... and Nissi is close to a lot of night life, supposedly, which Shu and I both enjoy... we'll see!

But! I am most excited about the fact that Shu and I rented a mini compact car to drive around the island. However,driving in Cyprus is on the left side, like Japan and the UK, which might be a problem. Despite the fact that Shu is Japanese, she is used to driving in the United States... and hasn't driven much anywhere else. I told her not to worry though, and to drive defensively.

So looking forward to it!

silence to come

Oh, the Iraqis are moving out... heading back to Baghdad, which they described as a paradise to me yesterday when I finally got the chance to talk to them again (I was compelled because they were leaving soon, and I didn't want to be rude, since they knocked on my door asking for my company nightly). I almost regret going over there.

I brought Shu along, despite the fact that she couldn't understand the conversation. Basically, they do not view me as a true Arab. Which is fine, because I am not, I wasn't raised in the Middle East and speak English as a first language. But it does bug me when they are surprised by simple Arabic manners that my parents instilled in me, or familiarity with other "Arab things."

They were also visibly and audibly distressed about the fact that Shu isn't religious. This particular family comes from the rich Sunni religious elite, and religion is threaded through every centimeter of their lives. Of course, they assume I am (at least a little) religious because of my background, but they consider Shu a heathen or something. I am glad Shu couldn't understand the little prayers they made to cleanse the air around them when I told them confidently that most Japanese people aren't religious.

Anyway, after spilling my heart out to them, talking about my life, and my parents, and my brother, and my attentiveness toward the Iraqi struggle, and how I believe my mother was a victim of the American war just as much as the people in Baghdad, and how I look to the Iraq catastrophe of the past 7 years for motivation to overcome my own loss of life (since I am sure there are plenty of people there who have lost half of their family, as I have) and they basically turned around and said shit about me after I left. I can hear your loud noisy voices. I was really disappointed.

Are you Iraqi?

I finally got the strength to tell the Iraqi family next door that their noise was irritating me... I walked over there and luckily the door was propped wide open (people are always going in and out of the apartment) and I said something like uhhhh Salamu Alaikum?? Hi! I am your neighbor! I am a student and I study often and sleep and wake up early and sometimes your door bell is very noisy and distracting, and your voices quite loud. Would you mind lowering the volume a bit? (all in under 10 seconds because I was so nervous)

They all laughed. One head-scarved lady sort of apologised and said "Yeah we are quite a mess here, always in and out--" then suddently, "Wait a minute, are you Iraqi??" (In an Iraqi accent, of course).

>.<

I said I am American from Iraqi descent and they all FREAKED OUT with huge grins on their faces and said "WELL COME IN MY SISTER! You know you are right, we ARE loud, but you know how Iraqis are, we cannot understand one another unless we are shouting!" I was rushed inside and presented with a huge plate of watermelon and peaches and within seconds they knew my family's religious background (Muslim, Sunni), my family name (which is well-known), and the area in which my father's family is located in Baghdad.

After about 5 minutes of chatting, I had forgotten my original intent and started listening to war stories. I found out they are not actually refugees, but rich Iraqis on holiday and will be leaving in a few weeks. Basically they have disregarded my request for lowered noise and kept me up until nearly 2 AM last night with their voices and music (Tuesday night).

Sigh. At least I tried.